Bullying 101: Class Is Back In Session

I saw a preteen in my office this week who is terrified to return to school because he will have to face some of his peers who engaged in bullying him last year. Witnessing his sadness and his mother’s strong desire to help him encouraged me to write this blog. Bullying has unfortunately become an all-too-common issue that impacts children of all ages.

As a parent, witnessing your child experience bullying can be a distressing and overwhelming situation. However, it is essential to approach this issue with empathy, understanding, and proactive support. In this blog, I will discuss recognizable signs that your child may be experiencing bullying. I will also equip you with effective strategies to help you navigate the challenging terrain of bullying, empowering both you and your child to face this issue head-on.

Signs that your child may be experiencing bullying:

1. Emotional distress: Children who are being bullied may exhibit sudden changes in mood, such as becoming more irritable, anxious, or easily upset. They may also display signs of depression, including sadness, withdrawal, or a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed. They may also experience a constant state of fear, anxiety, and fearfulness.

2. Physical injuries: Unexplained bruises, scratches, or other physical injuries can be indicators of physical bullying. Pay attention if your child frequently comes home with unexplained injuries or if their personal belongings are damaged or missing.

3. Social isolation: If your child starts to withdraw from social activities, avoids social situations, or consistently complains about not having friends, it could be a sign that they are experiencing social or relational bullying. Bullying can cause children to feel excluded, marginalized, or rejected by their peers.

4. Decline in academic performance: Bullying can significantly impact a child's ability to concentrate and perform well academically. If you notice a sudden decline in your child's grades or a lack of motivation and engagement in school, it may be worth exploring whether bullying is a contributing factor.

5. Avoidance of school: If your child frequently complains about not wanting to go to school, feigns illness, or comes up with excuses to stay home, it could indicate that they are experiencing bullying at school. Pay attention to their reasons for wanting to skip school and investigate further if necessary.

6. Low self-esteem and self-confidence: Bullying can erode a child's self-esteem and self-confidence. They may express feelings of worthlessness, doubt their abilities, or exhibit a negative self-image. Notice if your child suddenly becomes excessively self-critical or expresses a lack of belief in themselves.

7. Children experiencing bullying may exhibit various physical complaints as a result of the emotional distress they are going through. Here are some common physical complaints that children may express:

·      Headaches: Persistent or recurrent headaches can be a physical manifestation of the stress and anxiety caused by bullying. These headaches may occur more frequently when the child is at school or in situations where they are more likely to encounter the bully.

·      Stomachaches: Children may complain of frequent stomachaches or abdominal pain. These complaints may be related to the anxiety and stress they experience due to the bullying. The pain may range from mild to severe and may occur before, during, or after encounters with the bully or in anticipation of such encounters.

·      Sleep disturbances: Bullying can disrupt a child's sleep patterns, leading to difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing nightmares. Children may complain of insomnia, restless sleep, or feeling tired even after a full night's rest. Sleep disturbances can further contribute to the child's overall physical and emotional well-being.

·      Loss of appetite or overeating: Bullying can affect a child's eating patterns. Some children may experience a loss of appetite and have difficulty eating, leading to weight loss or poor nutrition. On the other hand, some children may engage in emotional eating as a way to cope with the stress and anxiety caused by bullying, leading to weight gain or unhealthy eating habits.

·      Fatigue and low energy: The emotional toll of bullying can leave children feeling drained and exhausted. They may exhibit signs of chronic fatigue, lack of energy, or a general sense of lethargy. This can impact their ability to engage in daily activities, concentrate in school, or participate in extracurricular activities.

It is important to note that these physical complaints may also be associated with other underlying medical conditions. Therefore, it is crucial to consult a healthcare professional to rule out any potential medical causes. If the physical complaints persist and are accompanied by other signs of emotional distress or bullying, it is important to address the issue and provide appropriate support to the child.

How To Help Your Child Deal with Bullying:

1. Recognizing the signs: The first step in addressing bullying is identifying the signs that your child may be experiencing it. Look out for changes in behavior, such as withdrawal, sudden loss of interest in activities, declining academic performance, unexplained physical injuries, or emotional distress. Open communication and building a trusting relationship with your child are crucial in understanding their experiences.

2. Create a safe space for communication: This is so important!!! Establishing an open and non-judgmental line of communication is vital for your child to feel comfortable sharing their experiences with you. Encourage them to express their feelings and thoughts and listen attentively without interrupting or blaming. Assure them that you are there to support and protect them.

3. Educate yourself about bullying: Take the time to educate yourself about the different types of bullying, its effects, and the various forms it can take, such as physical, verbal, social, or cyberbullying. Understanding the dynamics of bullying will enable you to address the issue effectively and provide appropriate guidance to your child.

4. Document incidents and gather evidence: Encourage your child to document any instances of bullying they experience, including dates, times, locations, and descriptions of what occurred. This documentation can be crucial when discussing the issue with school authorities or seeking external support. If possible, gather any evidence, such as screenshots or messages, in the case of cyberbullying.

5. Collaborate with the school: Reach out to your child's school to discuss the bullying incidents. Request a meeting with teachers, counselors, or the principal to address the issue. Provide them with the documented incidents and ask about their anti-bullying policies and procedures. Collaborating with the school will help ensure a comprehensive approach to tackling bullying.

6. Teach resilience and assertiveness: Help your child develop resilience and assertiveness skills to handle bullying situations effectively. Encourage them to practice assertive communication, teaching them how to confidently express their feelings and set boundaries. Foster their self-esteem and self-worth by highlighting their strengths and encouraging a positive sense of identity. I had my patient tell me some positive things about himself.

7. Encourage peer support: Support your child in building strong relationships with their peers. Encourage their involvement in activities and clubs where they can find like-minded friends who share their interests. Having a supportive peer group can provide a sense of belonging and reduce the impact of bullying.

8. Seek professional help if needed: If your child continues to struggle with the effects of bullying despite your efforts, consider seeking professional help. A mental health professional can provide additional support and guidance to both you and your child, helping them navigate the emotional challenges that arise from bullying.

Dealing with bullying can be an emotional and challenging journey for both parents and children. Remember, your unwavering support and guidance can make a significant difference in your child's well-being and ability to navigate this difficult experience.